Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
