: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
