At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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