erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
