i barfeds in our rink
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
