normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I need a beard to bite.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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