I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
MIDGETS
????
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
