so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
