I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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