Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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