Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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