omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
