Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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