yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
