New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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