I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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