life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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