Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
