D3 body, D1 cock
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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