It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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