If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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