There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
