My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
