I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
