So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
