oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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