Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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