Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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