Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
