"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
