You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
