): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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