LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have aggressive nipples.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
