I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
