i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So much rum. So many feels.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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