She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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