Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
