She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
