Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
