she was so not down for the gang bang
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
