i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
