I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
