I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
