I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
