i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
