i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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