last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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