I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
