if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
