was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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