It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
