Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
