Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
