When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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