Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
