i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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